Skipping Rocks...

“WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING, LOVE YOURSELF FOR DOING IT.  WHATEVER YOU ARE FEELING, LOVE YOURSELF FOR FEELING IT.” ~Thaddeus Golas

When you are little you see the world as black and white~ you knew what was right and what was wrong because you were told by your parents, your friends, your family, and your teachers.  You didn't question it because it was what you knew; it was how you were raised.  You loved fiercely with all your heart but you lived and made your decision based upon the rules of society- the ones bestowed upon you by your elders, people that were wiser than you, people that made mistakes and choices in their lives that they try and shelter you from making. But the older you get, the more your heart seizes control and slowly, even if you know better, you make choices based solely on your heart and you live for the moment regardless of the consequences of your actions.  But the world, YOU, cannot function live on decisions of the heart, for that would be a life of ups and downs, it would tumultuous, thrilling, and devastating all in the same breath.  Because of this, we circle back to making decisions based on what the mind knows and not what the heart wants, we do it to protect ourselves from getting hurt, feeling scared, and to avoid the unknown.

The mind and the heart are two entirely different entities that co-exist in you; one of these demands reason, explanations, and answers.  While the other sees beyond black and white and travels into the murkiness of those shades of gray that the mind wants to bat aside like a pesky fly.  Physically, the mind/the brain cannot function without the heart.  Emotionally, the heart can function with or without the mind, as the mind can function independently of the heart.  But often what you end up with, in either situation, is a person with or without compassion, thought, and understanding.

So how does one achieve the perfect mix of heart and mind?

We have become such a "me" society.  The world no longer revolves around others, it revolves around you.  How dare someone or something put a hitch in your life, making  forcing you to think about things, change your ways, and re-adapt.  We are creatures of habits, we like things to stay the same, and when they don't we become frustrated and annoyed.

I am a creature of habit, I like things to stay the same, and if they aren't going to stay the same I need to know ahead of time.  I am a planner; I am not/have not ever been a spur of the moment kind of girl.  It throws me for a loop when my schedule/my day has to be altered unexpectedly.  There are times, especially when it comes to habit, that I think with my mind and not my heart.  A schedule is black and white, it shouldn't change; it is straightforward and easy to understand.  

But your life, your feelings, cannot be scheduled and they can be altered by a glance, by a word, or by an experience and these are not things that you can plan ahead for, one cannot control what the heart feels and one should not try to.  Life is about feeling and compassion, giving to others, and loving the person that you are and the person you are becoming.  While I am a creature of habit, I feel and think with my heart more often than my mind, I worry about others, put others before myself, and would give anything to make the people around me feel safe and secure.  I would do anything to allow for others to have a safe place to land, a comforting shoulder to lean on, and a place to call home when they cannot find their own.  I wear my heart on my sleeve, and while sometimes I wish this was not the case, I would have it no other way for my heart longs for others to be happy and fulfilled and in this way my heart is fulfilled.

One is often reminded of bravery and kindness and open hearts that have not yet been jaded or scarred by living, that still dare to hope, to love, and to take chances on the first day of school.  As you watch the sweet faces of your kids walk into your classroom, some brand new with no friends, you can see it in their eyes; the fear of the unknown and yet they do it with a tentative smile and a trembling hand.  They forge ahead, determined to make new friends and to find their place in their ready to bloom and widely expanding world, because they know that friends can and will be made and they will find their way because that is the way of the world, it is black and white to them, they know no other way.  As adults, we can learn so much from these little souls.  When we get older, instead of forging ahead, we get stuck in our routines, our safety nets, and no amount of persuasion can convince you to change what you find comfortable.  So, often times, we exist in a world where we don't fill fulfilled because it is the easy thing to do, but usually not the right thing to do.  We have become a society that finds it easier to live with decisions of the mind and not of the heart.  Stories of others showing compassion are newsworthy and awe inspiring.  But shouldn't we live in a world where compassion is common, expected, and shown daily?

Is there a perfect combination of mind and heart?  I like to think there is not...for sometimes one must make decisions not of the heart but of the mind, because the heart can be fickle and we need to be wise enough to know that the heart can sometimes lead us astray, take us off a path and onto another we were not intended to take.  But there are times, where we need to think with our hearts and give to others all the love and compassion that we have within us, without the fear of the consequences to ourselves.  Sometimes the path we did not choose for ourselves is the path that we are actually intended to travel.

I believe that we need to take a long hard look at our society and although it scares us, we need to delve into the shades of gray~ explore the multitudes of color in our lives~ and one cannot do this with the mind alone it must also be done with the heart.  We need to acknowledge the black and white of the world and respect it, for our world would not work without it, but that does not mean we should retreat behind the comfort and ease of habit and live life based on the rules that have been established by others. 

I hope that I can continue to live my life with my heart open and giving as much as I can to others but I refuse to ignore what my mind has to offer, to give to others and to myself.  For I feel that my heart and my mind together are a powerful force that should function together and not alone. 

I vow to make compassion and thinking of others even more a part of my daily life.  I will throw a pebble into the pond of life and make as many heartfelt ripples that I can in the lives of others.  Will you open your heart a little more and expand the colors of your mind and skip a few rocks with me on the pond of life? 

“Run your fingers through my soul.  For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once; just once, understand.” ~Alice Hoffman